上課第一天
不就發發大綱，慫些什麼
The first day of classes is all about syllabi. What could be so hard?
懵逼臉：教室在哪 ? 學校咋這麼大 ? 媽瞭個上個學還要爬山 ?!
Where are your classes? Why is this campus so big? Why are there so many HILLS?
交些朋友
都是一個大學的，交個朋友有個什麼難的 ? 真是不懂。
Everyone starts college with a clean slate. It can't be so hard to make friends, right?
新生一個月總有那麼幾天：那個，你叫什麼來著 ? 你從哪裡來的 ?
You're bound to develop close friends eventually, but the first few weeks can be awkward. There are only so many times you can have the same conversations: "Where are you from?" "What's your major?" "What dorm do you do live in?"
關於趴體
就是愛舞蹈 ! 哦耶 ! 舞蹈 ! 舞蹈 ! 舞蹈 !
Time to dance!
安啦，你也隻能在床上扭一扭，舔一舔零食，再泡一泡書海。
The truth is, you'll probably spend more time sitting on a couch or your bed, surrounded by books or snacks ( or both ) . Don't worry if you don't go to a dozen parties right away -- after all, you have four to five years.
關於室友
你們摟摟抱抱，感恩節見見父母。友誼萬歲，臨山崩而不懼，面雷打而不慫，甚至 Deadline 都分不開你們。
You'll have dinner together every night, visit each other's families on Thanksgiving and hold her hair back when she's sick. You've heard the stories of ruined friendship, but you two are different.
你的室友被你稱做 " 西屋某姓某女子 "
Nothing tests a friendship quite like sharing a 10' x 10' box for a year.
約 !
歡迎新生 ! 尤其學妹 ! 歡迎歡迎 ! 熱烈歡迎 !
Welcome to college.
少年你還是繼續看你的校園言情劇吧，哦謊言～多麼痛的領悟～
Everything you know is a lie. TV totally tricked you. The college hook-up scene looks nothing like you'd find on The CW.
關於學術
我對毛主席發誓：好好學習，天天向上。
Sure, you'll have to study, but you'll be fine, right?
媽媽 ! 我今天作業是十篇論文 ! 我 ! 要 ! 回 ! 傢 ! ( 哭嚎臉 )
If you feel the urge to call your mom and cry the first time you attempt a 10-page paper on Marx's economic theories, don't worry -- that's totally normal.
關於宿舍
這不是寢室，這是宜傢的樣板間。
It'll look just like a Pottery Barn catalog!
寢室裡不許點蠟燭，哦。寢室裡不能買風扇，哦。寢室裡不能泡泡面，老子不住瞭 ! 摔 !
Dorm rooms are tiny, plain and full of restrictions. Who knew you couldn't light candles?
關於健身
我以為去健身房就是每日必備，等同於空氣，水和陽光。
Every freshman believes they'll go to the state-of-the-art gym on a regular basis.
健身房是什麼，漢堡和 netflix 才是我的真愛。
More likely, you'll go once, then succumb to late-night snacks and your Netflix subscription.
關於教授
理想型。。。 ( 白日夢臉 )
Sooo dreamy.
@#%&!?* ¥
Don't expect any student-teacher relationships, à la Pretty Little Liars. ( Sorry. )
關於期末
用每日計劃碾壓它，讀書人不打誑語。
With a carefully-planned study schedule, finals week will be a breeze.
拖延癥害死人，考試來臨，我也有秘之自信。
You will never, never wait until the last minute to study again -- except for basically every year, when you make the same false promise to yourself.
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