11 月就要來瞭，你的文書寫的咋樣瞭？一想到即將寄送自己的申請材料到心儀學校，你可能還要抓緊再多看幾遍，今天將給大傢介紹成功斬獲劍橋大學 offer 的 3 篇個人陳述范文，可以和自己的對比看看 ~~
范文一：
專業：土木工程
Offer：倫敦帝國理工學院 劍橋大學
評分：五星
My choice to study Civil Engineering was the result of mature reflection. I'm aware that the decisions I make at this age will surely determine my life. The direction of my studies will certainly bond my future and I decided that this commitment should contain things I love, and make me feel useful in society. My future education and profession should encompass what I ’ m really interested in and give me joy and satisfaction. When you outline your course on things you like, your commitments give meaning to your life and make everyday routine more interesting and productive. I ’ d like to incorporate these thoughts in the projects I ’ ll deliver as a Civil Engineer, projects that will harmonize the natural with the built environment and produce an attractive result.
Maths and physics were my strong points since the beginning of my education. My interest in maths was also increased by my father who is a mathematician. Thanks to his help and promotion, I took part in several mathematical competitions. I managed to participate in the National Mathematical Olympiad three times ( top 30 for my age in greece ) and I am confident that this year I will become a medalist. I have also attended preparation classes for the National Mathematical Olympiad, organized by renowned professors from the University of Crete. In physics I fed my curiosity by studying extracurricular books. MIT Open courseware lectures in maths and physics were also a way to deepen my knowledge. However, how these could be combined when confronted with real-life situations, I ’ ve learned from a family friend, a Civil Engineer by profession. He played a catalytic role in the way I conceive myself in the future, in my thoughts and knowledge of the job of a Civil Engineer. He instilled in my mind the love for the capability to structure space without harming the environment. He took me to construction sites and introduced me to the "poetic" side of the profession. With him I learned that you can elicit from nature the shape you want to create and the material you ’ ll use, that the constructional technique must become art, that the building and urban planning have to cover contemporary needs, that Aristotle considered the town to be a physical event, creation of man, a physical need, like family.
I live on an island that on account of its rapid touristic growth broke off its relations with the countryside and the natural environment. The re-establishment of the environmental balance is no longer in nature ’ s hands, but in the hands of human intervention. I consider utmost justification of my objective the capability to form the environment that will cover human needs, which will give symmetry, security and stability to space and man. Alongside my studies and work, I want to be present in the foundation of new relations, new perceptions, new buildings.
I have played basketball in a club for over 10 years and have won several regional championships. I learned that the results you ’ re seeking require planning and teamwork. Studying in your university is to accede into a team that has the vision and knowledge required to give society a better landscape. Being bilingual, I have the advantage of learning languages easily; I can speak Greek, German, English and Spanish at a high level and basic French. I also learned to adapt to situations, a virtue many people do not posses. I also play the guitar and believe that learning to play a musical instrument is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, as it teaches you discipline and patience, but also gives you the chance to communicate with your emotions.
My distinctions in maths and sports, my performance at school, my ability to learn languages, my time management skills and above all my determination to study what I aspire to and learn from the best, will hopefully be seriously taken into account in your decision of accepting me to your University.
點評：
1. 該文第一段闡述自身關於學習與人生的看法，並將其融入到土木工程學習中 ;
2. 有意識地展示瞭自身的基礎學識——數學和物理，包括提到自己的父親是數學傢，參加過數學奧賽，然後提到自己的朋友，一個土木工程專傢，自然轉移到對目標學科的描述中 ;
3. 對生活的環境有專業上的思考，顯示申請者超強的專業素質和潛力 ;
4. 打瞭十年籃球，會說希臘語、德語、英語、西班牙語和法語，這些興趣和技能一百分 ;
5. 最後一段話說的有點滿瞭，這時要是能謙虛又不失自信就更好瞭。
范文二：
專業：政治學
Offer：牛津佈魯克斯大學 倫敦帝國理工學院 劍橋大學
Politics has always enthused me because it allows an exploration of some of the fundamental values of our society: the principles of democracy, good governance and the relationship between the state and individual. The ubiquity of politics in the modern world makes it a subject that is broad and varied, and one that I never tire of.
Studying Politics A level has developed my analytical and critical skills as well as enabling me to pursue independent research. I am particularly interested in the European Union and the use of policy initiatives such as EMU, the Schengen Agreement and the Single Market to facilitate further integration of Member States. Solutions to contemporary problems stemming from European integration such as the sovereign debt crisis and democratic deficits can be found in my winning essay submitted for the Hennessy Prize. I investigated the decision-making process within the current coalition government considering independent commissions on contentious issues, such as banking reforms.
In order to inform myself about contemporary political culture I regularly read The Times and The Economist, and my passion for politics is further reflected by supplementary reading: I found Tocqueville ’ s Democracy in America informative. The close examination of both the reasons for the USA's success as a democratic nation and the early society of the country gave me new insight into the workings and inherent strengths and weaknesses of America. Furthermore, my ambition to have a career in politics is borne out by my choice of work shadowing: in September I shadowed an MP, which gave me insight into the full spectrum of domestic policies at grass roots level.
The multi-disciplinary nature of politics has helped me to find parallels between other subjects. The study of Geography has helped me to examine political issues such as international migration and migration from the EU, and social disputes such as gentrification and counter urbanisation. Similarly Physics has led me to formulate justifications for contentious developments such as nuclear power stations, incorporating an understanding of both the need for nuclear power and its political ramifications. When viewed holistically, such conflicts lie at the root of a modern functioning society ’ s attempt to reconcile the needs of both the individual and society ’ s needs as a whole.
Outside academic study, I enjoy debating, which allows me to challenge myself against others who are equally politically minded. I recently participated in the European Youth Parliament UK National Session as a member of a team selected to represent the UK in the Belgian international forum. I was additionally pleased with my rank of third out of thirty debaters in a regional competition in March and I also chaired a round of the English Speaking Union ’ s Mace competition, which helped me to build confidence and organisational skills.
Sports are also a favourite pastime of mine; I participated in races every Sunday as crew on a dinghy for more than a year, and hold a qualification for power boating, which enabled me to help coach younger sailors; I enjoy clay shooting, which I find challenging but rewarding; and I currently coach and play tennis regularly.
I see the acquisition of knowledge as an on-going as opposed to a static process. My proactive approach to gaining political knowledge, different fields of interest and attaining personal goals has prepared me for the challenges of university life. I am a rounded, hardworking individual who can balance the rigours of academic study with personal interests. I believe I possess the necessary qualities and commitment for my chosen field of study.
1. 申請者首先談瞭在政治學上的認識，展示瞭對該專業的熱情 ;
2. 提到自己的興趣領域，參加的組織，發表的學術論文，以及自己的調查研究，表達情感與具體事例相結合，具有說服力 ;
3. 提到時代和經濟學人，展示瞭收獲，並有所行動，招生官喜歡的就是愛學習，會思考，有行動的學生 ;
4. 展示地理、物理上的學識，體現較強的學習能力和在政治學上的無線潛能 ;
5. 平衡學術與活動，展示出自信。
范文三：
專業：數學
Offer：巴斯大學 佈裡斯托大學 華威大學 劍橋大學 拉夫堡大學
星級：五星
The challenge of problem solving has always been key to my passion for mathematics. For me, the satisfaction gained from systematically working through a complex problem to an often unobvious solution is unmatched by other areas of study. It is a continually intriguing and limitless academic discipline due to the fresh challenges that it provides. However, as my studies have developed, I have realised that it is much deeper than just solving problems. Having read "Mathematics: The New Golden Age" by Keith Devlin, I have enjoyed learning about fractals such as the remarkable Mandelbrot Set. I have investigated number theory and have attempted some primality tests myself. I have also studied Non-Euclidean geometry, topology, and various other topics outside the A-level specification. They have all intrigued me and have given me a glimpse into the diversity of mathematics. Studying maths has also enabled me to develop both a new level of comprehension and a more rational way of thinking. It is therefore, without a doubt, my chosen path for further study at university.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the variety of modules included in my studies, with a particular interest in the pure modules. I have always liked working with algebra and rearranging a jumbled set of coefficients into a wonderfully simple form - such as in summations, using standard results and in proof by induction. Calculus is another favourite of mine, and I have often relished using it in diverse contexts, such as calculating rates of change, using it on graphs and interchanging between a pdf and CDF in statistics. The mechanics module perfectly coincided with my physics course. By taking physics, I have had the opportunity to apply my mathematical skills to a variety of situations and have developed my practical skills through a wide range of experiments. By assisting others in their physics and mathematical studies, I have also further developed my communication skills and my own understanding of these subjects.
I take my role within the school community seriously. As a prefect, I have the responsibility of taking part in open evenings, school events and acting as a role model for younger students. Furthermore, I mentor a year 8 class and have undertaken child protection training to assist them more effectively. I have received various merits and awards from the school as well as certificates in the UK Maths Challenges.
This summer I secured a week of work experience at an accountancy firm to gain an insight into a potential maths-related career. Whilst I found the placement enjoyable, it reaffirmed my passions towards the pure and applied mathematics I have studied.
Like many mathematicians, I also have a real fascination for music. The link between the two subjects intrigues me, because the way musical melodies and harmonies are meticulously ordered and pieced together is reminiscent of the process of solving a complex maths problem. I find that music allows me to stretch my creative wings and I am fond of performing with my classmates and friends. I am currently working towards grade 5 piano and have played piano and sung in many charity concerts both in and out of school. Despite having not studied the GCSE course, I successfully taught myself the required theory for my music AS-level. By learning to compose and appreciate various styles of music in the course, I was inspired to start writing, recording and editing an album, which I intend to put on iTunes upon completion. I am also a keen admirer of technology, keeping up to date with the latest technology news, specifically relating to the games industry. I also enjoy playing Sudoku in my spare time.
My choices of university reflect my ambitions and I look forward to meeting the challenge of university life head-on. I keenly await the transition to university and I am excited about studying mathematics at a higher level.
1. 首句即闡釋瞭喜愛數學的原因，同時暗示申請者愛好挑戰的性格 ;
2. 申請者展示瞭自己通過深入學習數學有一個成長過程，顯示其發展潛力 ;
3. 通過介紹印象深刻的書籍，在數學上超范圍的知識，以及具體的數學物理內容來展示申請者深厚的學識和超強的學習能力，表達其對數學的濃厚興趣。
4. 學術學習、校園活動、實習實踐、興趣愛好 ( 會彈鋼琴在一個教數學的招生官面前一定會留下深刻印象 ) 都有所涉及，且在其中表明自身的綜合素質。
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